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Entry 7: The Process

1st Trimester:

There I was preparing for my book signing event and the whole "Doing the Christian Life" event and I was all over the place! I needed to tell my children and the rest of my family but I was still in shock so I decided to just tell Ronnie and my children at that time. But y'all when I tell you I was in shock and awe, I mean just that; to this day I'm still telling God I'm in complete awe of Him. My first trimester opened my eyes to a whole new way of viewing the Lord and gave me a wider perspective of His love for me. I realized that those four miscarriages prepared me for that fifth viable pregnancy.

I began this pregnancy with extreme highs and lows. On one hand, I was so excited about what God was doing through me, then the other hand, I was drained from being pregnant and constantly tearing down strongholds in my mind. You see, I really thought that I'd never be pregnant again so literally every other day it was a fight. The enemy was reminding me of those four miscarriages that I had previously and was trying to convince me that it was going to happen again. So, I decided to combat those thoughts with affirmations and thankfulness. I started thinking about the things I wanted the Lord to do in my life and I began to thank the Lord in advance for them. The bible says in Habakkuk 2:2-3, Then the Lord answered me and said, write the vision and engrave it plainly on (clay) tablets so that the one who reads it will run. For the vision is yet for the appointed (future) time it hurries toward the goal (of fulfillment); it will not fail. Even though it delays, wait (patiently) for it, because it will surely come; it will not delay AMP. I wrote in my journal, on my mirrors all over the house, on a dry erase board and even put sticky notes on the refrigerator. I had become a David so to speak, I was encouraging myself in the Lord. I mean that was the only way that I was going to make it through that, remembering what God said about me and my life. I had to remind myself that I was worthy and that my past was just that, my past.

I began to use the Word on my situation. I mean I had to, there was no other way. Philippians 1:6, I am convinced and confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will (continue to) perfect and complete it until the day of Christ Jesus (the time of His return) AMP. I mean He was obligated at that point to fulfill His Word. God's Word gives us tools to live out our lives, we just have to believe them to be true for us as believers and stand firm on it. We will believe what the enemy says about us but we can't trust what God's Word says, I don't get it. In John 10:10 it says, The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows) AMP. I knew about these scriptures before now, but it had gotten ugly and come to a pivotal moment in my life. It was time that I stopped being a passive christian and be bold. When someone is out to steal, kill and destroy, they don't care how they leave you, so since I know you're on the prowl, passiveness is not an option...only BOLD and BRAVE. Afterall, we are soldiers in the army of the Lord!

The first trimester of my pregnancy had reminded me to put on the whole (complete) armor of God (Ephesians 6:11-17). Do you have yours on?

Stay connected to this blog, next week's title is "The Process 2"...#spb

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