Entry 10: This Thing Called Fear

I began this year with a theme song and a "word" to revert back to every time I would come to a roadblock, obstacle, a decision, etc. The word is clarity; to see or understand clearly, and my song choice is, The Breakup Song by Francesa Battistelli.

Francesa began the song saying that she was sick and tired of being sick and tired and she had had as much of fear that she could take. I felt like that the first of the year. I had spent 46 years of my life fearful of being completely me. Opening my mouth and being transparent about my views on things, giving my two cents without people criticizing it. I know people who know me personally may beg the differ because I can tend to be very vocal at times. But truth be told, I really am a little self conscious about the way I sound (a thick southern accent 🤦‍♀️). So I try to verbalize what I want to say in writing and that still sometimes don't come across the way I intend it to. Anyway, she goes on to say in the song that she's gone through the motions and she's been back and forth and then she tells fear; I know that you're thinking you've heard this before. That's so true, I don't know how many times that I've told myself not to give a floop-flop about what people say but I find myself caring about it anyway 🙄. Well, the song goes on to say; there is no room in her life for fear, telling her what she's not, like fear knows her. She tells fear that she knows who she is, she is strong, free, and she has her own identity. If this is not inspiring and uplifting I don't know what is. This song has literally become my anthem. Sometimes I just put it on repeat and meditate on it because if there is nothing else I want to be done with or leave or break ties with, it would be fear. Not just to what people think of me but to my own disbeliefs in myself. You see, sometimes it's not other people in our way, it's us in our own way. Depending on what it is, we can't be concerned about what others think, only what it looks like in God's eyesight. Period. And I've told myself this numerous times; countless times. And it's high time that I start believing it!

Which leads me to my word for the year. Clarity. In order for me to be able to battle this thing called fear, I need clarity. I need to be able to see and understand things clearly and the only way I can do this is to seek the Lord (Isaiah 55:6). Do I make all the right moves and do everything right? No. But I will put fear to the side and take a chance on what I believe through prayer is my best option and leave the rest to the Lord (Romans 8:26-28). At this point in my life I'm not sure of my next blog or what the Lord has for me in the future. I've been praying and I want to do what He would have me to do and not just some random things. Please be in prayer with me as I find my way in ministry--figuring out my purpose, my niche. What God would have me to do in the uplifting of the Kingdom and the grace to bow out of what I shouldn't be doing. Be blessed.

#spb

#shanesepbrown #fear #faith #hope #obedience #doubt #naysayers #FrancesaBattistelli